


Generation gaps

by Lautari



Series: Threading Stars [9]
Category: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Family, Father-Son Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Lost Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:41:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24313708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lautari/pseuds/Lautari
Summary: He could no longer remember the boy on Tatooine he’d been so many years ago, but he wanted that for Ben. His family always seemed one generation, one wrong move away from loss and despair, under Vader’s dark controlling shadow.
Relationships: Mara Jade & Ben Skywalker, Mara Jade/Luke Skywalker
Series: Threading Stars [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1255013
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Generation gaps

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after Fate of the Jedi: Conviction

“Dad?”

Luke opened one eye. His son stood just inside their room, leaning against the wall. They were recovered from the ordeal on Nam Chorios, but Luke was taking advantage of the bed and weight that had been lifted off his shoulders. Abeloth was still out there but knowing he could go home helped him sleep better than he had in a long time.

He cocked his head and patted the bed beside him. Ben needed no coaxing. He crossed the room and settled next to his father, both crossing their ankles and arms. It had been a long time since they had done this – since Ben was little. He would creep into his parents’ bed on Coruscant or his mother’s ship and settle between them, his father’s arms thrown over him and his mother possessively.

It was his mother he usually gave these moments to as he got older, never too old to clamor onto the bed and curl into her while he told her about his day. Luke would sometimes peer in and grin at the two red heads, at times coming in and ruffling Ben’s hair, or throwing a blanket over the two and leaning down to give his wife a lingering kiss…but never joining them.

A lump formed in Ben’s throat thinking back to a day like that not long before his mother died. He surprised her by coming home for a few days. They’d flopped down on the bed on their stomachs and giggled while dusk fell, two mugs of hot chocolate steaming on the nightstand. The entry had chimed and moments later Luke appeared in the door. He’d given them both a small, and - looking back on it now – exhausted smile before shuffling off with Artoo on his heels. Later, he would affectionately squeeze the back of Ben’s neck in the kitchen while the boy washed dinner plates and ask if he had seen the new ZX-88 water speeder yet. But in the moment, Ben sighed loudly at what he perceived as apathy on his father’s part. His mother frowned, murmuring, “Your father loves you more than anything in the galaxy.”

Ben scowled.

She reached out and stroked his hair and, in her touch, Ben felt his father’s memories spill into him through the bond his parents shared. His loneliness at not knowing his own father, his joy in his sister’s children, his wish for companionship, his happiness at the possibilities with Callista to only be devastated, his desire to have a child with Mara, and then the overwhelming joy of finally holding his baby in his arms when all his friends had half grown children of their own. Tainting all of it though, was the constant weight of possibly losing his child to a galaxy that had already wounded the Jedi Master terribly.

Ben’s eyes burned when his mother spoke again. “You are everything he ever dreamed of.”

His father’s voice brought him back to the present. “What is it you want to ask me?”

Ben blinked back sudden tears. “Did you love Mom more than Callista?

It was a petty question, because he knew the answer; knew that life was complicated, but he still wanted to hear it, to know his mother was not forgotten. Luke took no offense and sighed. “I suppose it was hard to watch me with Callista.” He took a moment to gather his thoughts, what he wanted to say. “I was in love with Callista at a very different time in my life. We bonded in a short amount of time and while I let her go, the need for closure can be overwhelming. Seeing her again, even in such a way…” he swallowed the lump in his throat and cleared it before speaking again. “I loved your mother even then I think; and I think Callista knew. We never really told you about how we met did we?”

Ben shook his head. He’d asked once, his mother of course. She merely kissed his head and told him that he already knew. They’d met on Karrde’s ship amidst the struggle against Thrawn, worked together to overthrow C’Baoth while hashing out their differences, and married ten years later after destroying the Hand of Thrawn and Thrawn’s clones on Niruaun. He knew there was more to it, there always was, but it was between her and his father and they kept it that way. He wasn’t sure he would get much more from Luke tonight.

“Your mother understood how I felt about Callista.” Still it pained Luke to know he had accepted her touch. It felt like a betrayal to Mara. Had he been so lonely, so needing for his wife? He would always crave her touch, and he knew from Beyond Shadows that she longed for him just as much. It gave him comfort to know they would always search for each other. He also knew Mara would e keen on running Callista through if she ever found her. Her warning rang in his ears. _“She is never what she seems.”_ She had feared for him, knowing what it would do to him.

“We weren’t ready for each other when we met,” Luke continued. “But she was my best friend, even when we weren’t speaking. There was a lot between us. I made mistakes, she made mistakes. Of course, we both thought we had all the time in the world. The ignorant bliss of youth.” He gave his son a dry look with the last comment, no doubt thinking of Vestara. “Before you know it 30 years fly by.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “And I lost her. The bond I had with your mother…years in the making. When that was severed, I nearly lost my mind.”

Ben needed no reminding. He remembered those dark days, lost in his own grief. “I miss her.”

Luke reached out his arm and Ben rolled into his father’s side. He closed his eyes momentarily, breathing in his father’s scent, unchanged in all the years since he’d last done this, and pretended he was still a boy on Coruscant falling asleep on the couch with his father, his mother still alive.

Luke wrapped his arm around his son tightly. He wanted to protect him. He could no longer remember the boy on Tatooine he’d been so many years ago, but he wanted that for Ben. His family always seemed one generation, one wrong move away from loss and despair, under Vader’s dark controlling shadow. He would never tell Ben how releasing Callista from Abeloth nearly sent him to his knees in grief, and how love, no matter how long lost, could still break you. He would learn those lessons, no matter how much Luke tried to protect him. Given the recent experience with Vestara Khai, he was learning them now. Like his father, he would probably also learn years later, that those lessons would follow him. Callista had haunted him and Vestara would probably haunt Ben. Somethings were destiny.

But right now, his son was still a boy, and still willing to give him these moments; moments that would’ve never happened if they hadn’t lost Mara. But he would take them. “There,” he said pointing out the viewport. “What star cluster is that?”

Ben smiled at the old game. “...Ascania?”

”And you can see what from there?”

Ben frowned in concentration. “Uh, Bakura and Ryloth.

”And from Ryloth?”

”Tatooine.”

Luke grinned. “Home.”


End file.
